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Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2017 11:25 pm
by Flintstone
Watching telly last night I resorted to some tosh presented by two blokes called Jimmy and.......can't remember. Jamie-something-or-other-with-a-lisp whose dad has a pub in Essex.

Aaaanyway, before I lost interest about two minutes in they interviewed a peri-peri chicken shop seller who reckoned there's a market for free range chicken but due to supplyanddemand the price is too high.

Now I can't for one minute believe that your average pisshead staggering home from a night out is going to pay double for a kebab based upon the welfare of the chook but (wets and raises finger) I've a feeling that your average, middle class punter would prefer to eat something that's not been reared in a bat cave and pumped full of brine but my (limited) research on the internet suggests there's no money to be made, people will revert to the pale lumps on a styrofoam tray.

So which is it?

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 1:50 am
by McFarmer
Free range here is defined as the birds having access to the outside after a few weeks in confinement.

Problem is, the may be only one small door and the birds are afraid to go out.

Excerpt :

Birds Raised for Meat
Birds raised for meat may be sold as “free-range” if they have government certified access to the outdoors. The door may be open for only five minutes and the farm still qualifies as “free-range.” Apart from the “open door,” no other criteria such as environmental quality, number of birds, or space per bird, are included in the term “free-range.” A government official said: “Places I’ve visited may have just a gravel yard with no alfalfa or other vegetation.”

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 7:59 am
by Coltheox
Flintstone wrote:Watching telly last night I resorted to some tosh presented by two blokes called Jimmy and.......can't remember. Jamie-something-or-other-with-a-lisp whose dad has a pub in Essex.

Aaaanyway, before I lost interest about two minutes in they interviewed a peri-peri chicken shop seller who reckoned there's a market for free range chicken but due to supplyanddemand the price is too high.

Now I can't for one minute believe that your average pisshead staggering home from a night out is going to pay double for a kebab based upon the welfare of the chook but (wets and raises finger) I've a feeling that your average, middle class punter would prefer to eat something that's not been reared in a bat cave and pumped full of brine but my (limited) research on the internet suggests there's no money to be made, people will revert to the pale lumps on a styrofoam tray.

So which is it?

You've got it about right, Fred.

The average tattooed 'T' shirted muscle bound shaven headed yob on his way home after fifteen pints of lager wouldn't give a shit what he was eating - in fact, it could probably be shit and he wouldn't notice; but the Islington Set - Justin, Mellissa, and their children Tarquin and Hermione, would, of course, expect only the freshest of meat, reared in a free range way where the chickens are happy little chooks with no restrictions on their movements. (Bit like illegals coming from Africa)

Of course, they don't want to pay any extra for the said produce, and whilst they may pay lip service to 'free range' they probably stuff little Tarquin and Hermione with the self same mass produced chicken suitably coated with peri-peri sauce to disguise the fact that it is even chicken!!

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 10:46 pm
by Flintstone
Well there goes my business plan. I could have fitted at least three crooks into my garden.

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:17 am
by Coltheox
Flintstone wrote:Well there goes my business plan. I could have fitted at least three crooks into my garden.
Believe me, that will pay better than chooks.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:38 pm
by Flintstone
Coltheox wrote:
Flintstone wrote:Well there goes my business plan. I could have fitted at least three crooks into my garden.
Believe me, that will pay better than chooks.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh Col, you're such a card.

No, wait. I meant twat. :D

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:53 pm
by NQIT
Flintstone wrote:
Coltheox wrote:
Flintstone wrote:Well there goes my business plan. I could have fitted at least three crooks into my garden.
Believe me, that will pay better than chooks.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh Col, you're such a card.

No, wait. I meant twat. :D
Or a caaaaar......

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:55 pm
by Flintstone
NQIT wrote:
Flintstone wrote:
Coltheox wrote:
Flintstone wrote:Well there goes my business plan. I could have fitted at least three crooks into my garden.
Believe me, that will pay better than chooks.....................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh Col, you're such a card.

No, wait. I meant twat. :D
Or a caaaaar......

Don't upset him, he's buying me lunch at Gog Magog.

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:01 pm
by graybo
Free range chicken is some tough
ol' shite. I don't want my nuggets walking about

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:02 pm
by McFarmer
graybo wrote:Free range chicken is some tough
ol' shite. I don't want my nuggets walking about

I went with boxers.

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:11 pm
by graybo
McFarmer wrote:
graybo wrote:Free range chicken is some tough
ol' shite. I don't want my nuggets walking about

I went with boxers.
Commando for me

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:07 pm
by The Squire
Please don't get me started on bloody free range milk! :x :x :x :x :x :x

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:33 pm
by McFarmer
The Squire wrote:Please don't get me started on bloody free range milk! :x :x :x :x :x :x

The topic has changed Squit, please keep up.

Now how do you stand ? Commando or boxers ?

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:16 pm
by Flintstone
McFarmer wrote:
The Squire wrote:Please don't get me started on bloody free range milk! :x :x :x :x :x :x

The topic has changed Squit, please keep up.

Now how do you stand ? Commando or boxers ?
Or a thong?

Re: Who is telling the truth?

Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:21 pm
by Bloomers
The Squire wrote:Please don't get me started on bloody free range milk! :x :x :x :x :x :x
WTF?